Capital Living

Last week i went to a friends new house for dinner.It was the first time i'd seen the home she has spent the last year renovating and she was bursting with excitement as she ushered me through the hallway,telling me about all the original floor tiles,the squishy sofa and other furniture she and her husband spent a fortune on.

She led me through to the kitchen,which was the kind of a bright and open-plan affair you see in top home magazines.The sink had a tap that ran boiling water.

I would tell you about the three perfect bedrooms upstairs or the en-suite wet room,or the garden space,but i would rather spare you the depression-what was exactly what happened to me after i left my friends place that evening.

The truth is that,i was quite proud of all she and her husband had achieved,as much as i hate to admit it,a bigger part of me was envious.yes! i have said it!!
And after the jealousy came the self-loathing, why dodnt i have a house like that?why don't i own any house at all? why am i still renting? why am i such a failure? and how is she able to do all that renovating work while also raising 3 children and also holding down a business? why do i get tired just putting out the rubbish?.



I took all this mixed emotions and did the worst thing possible- i hurried home and poured myself a large glass of wine and went social media surfing to try to forget the envy.
And Bang!!,there i saw that another friend of mine had just been offered a very lucrative job that she had be waiting for,while another friend of a friend was constantly uploading pictures from a poolside in Maldives. She looked beautiful,happy and sexy with her equally handsome husband by her side.I felt like the world was out to show me everything that my life isn't. I felt broke,unhappy and a failure.
I was in the midst of an apparent  " comparison anxiety"…..

Have you ever felt like that was you? tell the truth!!
Uk's comparison coach,Lucy sheridan believes a lot of women suffer from a ' compare and despair epidemic'
" Human beings have always benchmarked themselves against each other and have always felt a need to keep up with the joneses.But Nowadays,thanks to social media,we are bombarded with images that seem to show the world at large is doing better than us" said Sheridan." we go into social media and see friends go on exotic holidays,buy the latest in fashion,a new car,promotion etc,we find ourselves constantly scrolling,critiquing and gorging on what other people are doing.

" And rather than be inspired,we go down a rabbit hole of comparison,feeling jealous of people who in some cases we hardly even know"

" But we should rather use the comparison  anxiety as a signal of what we need to improve in out lives,If you are in a nasty stagnant relationship and you see your friend happy and cuddly with her partner,think about it,do you think it just might be time to move on from that relationship and get ready for a new one??

" If a friends weight loss is making you jealous,Don't you think its time you made a few changed to your health??,use the negative emotion to get a positive insight you can use."

"Another thing is most peoples lives look perfect on the outside,you may be envying someone else while that same person is also busy envying your simple life.Peoples lives just aren't as perfect as it always appears.

Conclusion:
A few nights ago,That friend of mine with the enviable house,phoned me in tears,they have suddenly found out that there might be a serious mould problem on most part of the house and the stress is hugely getting to her.She told me that they mortgage on the house is sky high and they already borrowed money from the bank to finish the renovation off and just couldn't afford those kinds of delays and problems.
Guess what? I don't event her one bit…anymore!!

Morale of the story: Never envy anyone,rather use the negative emotions to create a positive move in your life and future.



Culled but modified from Dailymail.co.uk.